Season Review and Playoff Preview
The second but not last co-production of Joshua P. and Loski Pe.
Folks. After an eventful and over(t)ly dramatic season, March Madness has descended upon us. In a 16-person chat where the truly active users can be counted by the fingers on one hand, the law of diminishing returns proves real when it comes to playoff anticipation.
This second HD 2025-6 publication delivers predictions, playoff schedule ratings, and genuinely uncanny Avatars from the Shakespearean tele-drama Succession. We’ve peered into your GM subconscious with the aid of Claude to deliver forensic evaluations of your year’s performance. So lie down on the chaise lounge and read-on people, because this edition contains everything you want and need and perhaps didn’t even know you wanted and needed.
Of course, we are ethically obliged to do justice and pay tribute to the performers who fought hard (or forgot their login-details) but ultimately underachieved. I mean shit, even Malik paid his 20 bucks.
Without further ado:
DISHONORABLE MENTIONS
16. ‘Lik’s unmajestic Team – Unfortunately, this is the last time we are gonna hear from the funky diabetic. You can only be a living meme for so long; at some point you fuck off and simply remain an HD legend for posterity while none of the new members ever found out what it was you did. Services to honor the man only Bao knows will be held at St. Catherine’s Catholic Church in Schöneberg. In lieu of flowers, fellow GMs of the deceased politely request that you wear a Raptors Mighty Mouse jersey and try and hit a baseline jumper that bounces four times around the rim before dropping in.
Succession Avatar: Andrew Dodds
You are wondering who the fuck that is, right? Think back to Season 1. An overly helpful waiter is fired by an irritable Logan Roy at Shiv and Tom’s Wedding. He does Special K with Kendall, who then gets behind the wheel on their joy ride to find some powder. Enter a deer in the road, a swerving car. Yeah, well Andrew is beside Malik in the bottom of that murky pond.
15. Ennio and his bum nails – That’s actually a great band name. Irritating his half compatriot in the draft, making infuriating trades, digital detox, lack of lobster emoji comprehension, a real life injury at the most inopportune time. We’re sure Senorito Mazzon has lived better days and wish him the best for a comeback year. Ennio took a Yahoo app and tried to make high art of it. Or did he try to make vulgar pop-art out of everyday life? Or did he let his 7 year-old niece try and collect Spurs players cause she is currently in love with the western frontier novels of Cormac McCarthy? Does Ennio know what he’s doing? We leave our readers with food for thought, ‘something to chew on’. Fantasy basketball has brought out yet another permutation of this complex man, whose previous versions include but are not limited to: Shingles Ennio, Jeans Ennio, Broken Glasses Ennio, Il ladro di Treviso, and my and Linda’s favorite Goggle Man.
Succession Avatar: Connor Roy
Delusional ambition, Ennio remains curiously placid and level-headed when most of Hoop Dreams descends into a vicious corporate power struggle dominated by the machinations of GMs. Pretentious and eccentric, Ennio too is interested in niche history, historical geography, political theory, and brilliant literature often in a slightly absurd way. The Wemby trade was basically his presidential campaign.
14. Boris’ Centers – Sneaky fuck he is. After angering all GMs by picking up ⅓ of the league’s available centers on draft night, he went and did a trade with Basti despite being mathematically out of playoff contention, leading to a chain of events that kicked Basti out of the HD chat. Basti of course swears it had nothing to do with it and he got sick and busy all of a sudden in fucking March, where everything is being decided. Boris has stuck to his singular strategy for several years now despite the results delivering poor performance in the league. Is he playing the Hoop Dreams gadfly? Is he compensating for being absolutely destroyed on the boards in middle school in the Montreal Little Dribbler’s League? Is he too playing a game within the game? Few know, and still fewer care.
Succession Avatar: Caroline Collingwood
The mother of all the Roy children, aka centers who are tall but completely useless. With her infuriatingly Oxbridge posh British accent, she goes around thinking she’s smarter than everyone, lacerating them with her insults or WW moves. But in reality she is just a very silly person who will be taken advantage of by the ambitious good looking bloke (looking at you Basti, yeah the machine is playing the silver fox). In the end she only makes that social ‘trade’ happen to piss off her children / other GMs than for any sensible reason.
13. Nick and his shite Team – Wait, did he really refuse to pay the 20 euro entrance fee? Disgraceful. Nick had a Nick season, lotta mid-level talent that performed at the wonderful metric we know as Mediocrity. Ciao Nick, Nimmerwiedersehen!
Succession Avatar: Willa Ferreyra
Nick is a soft-spoken, pragmatic lady-of-the-night outsider who enters the HD family through a non-transactional relationship with the Commish, gradually navigating wealth, ambition, and social pressure while trying to build his own identity as a god-awful playwright. A hooker by profession, Nick is pimping us all and dragging on the decision to marry himself to HD and pay-up or continue the subsidized lavish lifestyle of a corporate welfare fat cat.
12. Dan with his logistical frauds – I mean, more past champs have had awful excuses for showing up as cannon fodder the following years, but probably none tops the Waiver wire limit bull. Dan had a lot of injuries and he tried to squeeze juice out of pulp he dug out of the dumpster behind a Jamba Juice in a Burbank strip mall. I mean it kinda tasted like wheat grass and ginger. Has the Dogma95 of Hoop Dreams (3 man WW limit) proved the death knell to Dan? Can he find a way to rediscover a creative pathway to relevance? Can he summon his jazz guitar linear thinking to find the note between the notes, the strategy inside the Yahoo app? He’ll have time to reflect on the sandy Cancun shores and try and find the road to renewal. Until then, vaya con Dios mi amigo.
Sucession Avatar: Gerri Kellman
If anyone thought they could claim to be the power behind the throne at Waystar RoyCo, it’s Gerri Kellman. Serving as the company’s general counsel, Gerri is a longstanding confidant of Logan and the Roy family with a 20-year tenure as his right hand. Instrumental in implementing damage control over the company’s various scandals and is even godmother to Shiv. But alas, the throne is not Gerri’s, no matter how brilliant nor qualified Dan is to take the living crown seated above the Hoop Dreams Dominion. Dick picks ultimately saved Gerri’s golden parachute but Dan could not find his own ‘pull straps’. He will have to live off the fat of his 23-24 winnings and his runner up finish last year.
11. Dickring Sizing – Guy traded Edgecombe after he dropped 35 on his debut, for Sam Hauser of all people. The season only went downhill from there. Worst of all, he is refusing to show up and buy overpriced beer for the group at the Alba game, allowing his reputation as a beverage individualist to flourish unchecked. Was HD just an excuse to drink his Eastpack full of Bavarian Beer and eat his wife-cooked dinner away from his pre-pubescent sons? He traded for Luka as well didn’t he, so I guess this year he’s a Laker fan. Nico has won fantasy before, back when BaoWow was Commish. But those times are over and a new dawn has risen. Dickring needs to wake the fuck up, wash that dick stank off, and start dancing to the new beat. Like Sam Cooke said, Change is gunna come.
Succession Avatar: Kerry Castellabate
Confident but sometimes overreaching, her attempt to become a television anchor turns awkward and widely mocked inside the company, revealing the limits of her abilities. Ultimately the closest Dickring got to any meaningful position of power in the HD Universe was being hastily stored on the nightstand next to Logan Roy’s bed after uninspiring sex, while the tyrannical beast of a man snored away like a Grizzly Bear with a sinus infection.
10. Lolito (El Chico Lolo) – You gotta give Villagomez one thing. His season followed the exact same trajectory as his beloved Warriors. Hot start that infuriated and wowed the league in unequal measure, steady well forecasted decline, inability to make reasonable trades that could have salvaged his season, steeper decline, and finally something like an admission that the dieNasty was now truly the DeadNasty. He didn’t want a pity paragraph, but he’s getting it nonetheless. Call it the vanguard of the proletariat, we may write for the downtrodden beached under the palms in Cancun, but we have their interests, their needs, their dreams deep in our hearts. We bring voice to the voiceless – was that really Lolo’s voice? His current lineup is the stuff of legend. I mean please, have a look. It’s like a sewage leak and Donald Trump Jr. had a kid. Then that kid had an incestual but brief relationship with Deni Avdija in an above ground pool and had another kid.That last kid, the webbed foot troglodyte, is the hodgepodge also known as Lolo’s fantasy lineup as of March 16th.
Succession Avatar:Romulus (Roman, Rom)
Lolo like Roman Roy is a sharp-tongued, chaotic, and emotionally wounded self-appointed heir to the HD empire. He occupies an unstable position within the GM family—sometimes treated as a joke, sometimes proving unexpectedly capable in high-stakes business situations. Deeply immature, yet often the most astute and emotionally attuned GM, Lolo is defined by his contradictory nature. He is a crude, snarky comedian, who will then pivot to lecture you about the endangered status of the San Francisco Garter Snake for which he was recently at a fundraising dinner and bought a pretty wicked trucker hat from the pop-up merch shop. His constant mockery and lack of boundaries are thought to mask a deep insecurity about his team and a desperate need for Louk to use the word dynasty to describe whatever the warriors did when they signed the Slim Reaper.
9. Bao Bunz – We almost have to apologize for sticking him in the mediocrity tier over Lolito midseason. Bao was a true warrior throughout, despite his team stinking ass the whole campaign. He even picked up Tatum before sniffing news of a potential return. There’s a world where he makes the playoffs and gives Mike a run for his money in the 1st round. But it’s not this one. Disfortunadamente, not the same one we all reside in.
Succession Avatar: Nan Pierce
The head of Pierce Global Media; she lives on the family’s sprawling, rural estate reachable by helicopter and likely not far from Bao’s plush residence in Brasilien. Bao, once heralded as Miami culture through and through, appears now more like Nan Pierce, a sort of Martha Stewart aesthetics-focused, faux-relatable classiness. Bao can sometimes hit the waiver wire and get his hands dirty. He often acts as if his multi-billion-dollar company is a bespoke, family-run small business, but we know Bao. To quote Rick Ross da Boss:
Every day, I’m hustlin’, every day, I’m hustlin’
Every day, I’m hustlin’, every day, I’m hustlin’
Every day, I’m hustlin’, every day, I’m hustlin’
Every day, I’m-, every day, I’m-, every day, I’m hustlin’
Round 1……… FIGHT!
Seed 1: Bookie of the Year
Playoff Schedule Rating: C-
The no.1 seed himself questioned our decision to rank him first in the midseason writeup. Learn a thing or two, ragazzo. Have a cannoli. Mike was warned about his playoff schedule mess early, and in his defense, he tried to get rid of his Knicks players vehemently. Unfortunately, he once again got greedy and set the asking price too high. Is Mike the Danny Ainge of our league? Over-valuing his talent while he labels virtually everyone else a B-U-M. He has the worst schedule on quarterfinal week of all contestants, on top of his only competent guy with 4 games facing a knee issue. Yikes. Cheese vs. Marlo was always a very thin line.
If he somehow makes it out of the quarters, things look way more promising with the schedule balance turning slightly in his favour. Luckily for him, Joshua is dealing with his own headaches, and to be fair after the utterly incomprehensible Siakam trade Louk’s brainfart gifted him, nobody is gonna feel particularly bad if Mike chokes out of the first round.
Succession Comp: Shiv
Mike went from crumpled detective coat Columbo Strategic Outsider-to-first place Insider in a couple of seasons. Like Shiv he has always tried to distance himself from his GM Family, but we know he too is in this dingy slum getting his hustle on. To the casual eye he was just another figure drifting through the narrow alleys where trash burned in summer heat and desperation clung to the air like humidity, but those who knew him recognized the spark of cunning ambition in his stride — the same fire that kept him alive when so many around him faded. His ruthless pursuit of power has been demonstrated with some trades and some epic takedowns – remember Lolo’s movie list comment? But in parallels (did you know Louk, Pelo and Josh have one?), discussion about Mike and him passing or failing The “Killer” Test have been spirited and lively. Although a perennial first place regular season GM, word on the street is Mike lacks the direct corporate experience and often fails to “kill” when necessary, or conversely, kills too easily in ways that leave Louk and the Machine shaking their heads.
vs.
Seed 8: Greatest Show on Court
Playoff Schedule Rating: B
Josh’s best guys happen to be on teams fighting for playoff seeding, significantly reducing the incentive for rest. He plays stupid but knew what he was doing all along. Mitchell’s 3 game QF and SF weeks hurt, but the trashcan defenses against which he’ll suit up inspire potential 60-pieces, just in time to warm up for a tasty Florida first round opponent.
All in all, despite an uninspiring season, the Commish returns from the Dominican Republik gently tanned, occasionally wearing a Tatis Jr jersey, refreshed, ready to provoke- if not outwrestle faux Marlo. I hear he already picked out the rum he is going to pair with his victory cigar. We still haven΄t understood how he pulled that one off by the way, letting his kids idle through a suddenly sunny Berlin March with the granny, while he somehow managed to get cloudy skies in the fucking Caribbean. Not the best of signs Joshie.
Succession Comp:Hugo Baker
His interventions are never over the top; always timely. Joshua’s main gig is to protect the GM family’s image, at the same time anxiously allowing each one of them to express their douchy personalities before he saves their ass with a deep cutting caustic comment which nobody understands. As the season went on, his morals got all the more lenient, inventing bullshit things like the Basti rule, which he of course was to eventually use for his own team in extremely inexplicable fashion on a weekend when everyone was hangover and not paying attention. He remained loyal to his ultimate boss Logan (Andrei), but not enough to not capitulate to Kendall (Pelos), accepting the latter’s final predictions without a single rebuttal. Constantly on the outside looking in, he somehow firmly established himself in the playoff picture in the end; not only that, but he somehow ended up in the easy side of the bracket, with a surprising lack of any form of manipulation. Same way he deeply entrenched himself on the FBL team, giving them an absolutely essential defensive anchor they didn’t even know they needed. You beautiful little flea, you.
Potential X-factors: Sengun’s lower back. Oso Ighodaro’s 5 game week while the rest of the scarce Suns bigs are injured. Most of all, whether Mike’s Knicks players do him a favour and wake up from their untimely narcolepsy. Mikal is going through a horrific slump, and guy tends to deliver after such woeful weeks.
Prediction: 5-4 Josh . Instincts say Mike but Joshua has Caribbean possums up his sleeve. He had a clear path to avoiding Ezra, yet managed to get Mike without even tanking. He just knew his team was trash enough. These could easily be the 2 worst teams in the quarterfinals in terms of numbers produced, with one of the contestants luckily punching a semifinal ticket they otherwise couldn’t have dreamt of. Sorry Mike, Cheese it is.
Seed 2: Jokic’s Horses
Playoff Schedule Rating: B-
Andrei has done well to mitigate his weak QF schedule by picking up half the Memphis roster, but the fact remains that his studs only play 3 games with a weak back-to-back lying in the middle. Shai’s MVP push bodes very well for him. He has an infuriating knack for picking up the right players at the right time, and it’s hard to fathom that his strong season could come to an end so prematurely. He artfully out-maneuvered Dan on the waiver wire which saw him go from 8 to the promise land over a couple of weeks. Zombie Andrei keeps grinding, more snakes coming out of the beast΄s neck after each previous head is decapitated. The combo of potential 2 game weeks from Chet and Shai, along with his fucking opponent in this matchup do render the champ’s situation rather bleak, nonetheless.
Succession Comp: Logan Roy
Through ruthless ambition and business instincts, Andrei built Jokics’ Horses, transforming it into one of the most powerful teams in the HD universe. JH controls television networks, news channels, film studios, theme parks, and other media assets, all of which have Tim as their ambivalent corporate face. Indeed, we all know that it is Tim that anchors Andrei’s enormous political and cultural influence. Like Logan, he is a self-made champion, unlike his children, and he often reminds them of this fact to reinforce his authority.
Sources tell me in a parallel he once quoted Logan in response to Mike not giving him props from his cunning roster assembly: ‘You make your own reality. And once you’ve done it, apparently, everyone’s of the opinion it was all so fucking obvious.’
vs.
Seed 7: GTSD
Playoff Schedule Rating: A+ for first 2 rounds, C- for last round
We’ve talked a lot about Basti’s dirty psychological warfare throughout this article so will try and keep this short. The mix of his QF and SF schedule is simply elite. Jokic cannot afford to miss another game if he is to grab any accolades, which pretty much by definition renders him a favourite in any finals conversation. And, running the risk to further piss him off and extend his sabbatical from the chat, the Buzelis-Thompson trade would appear to be more about testing our limits to chaos and annoyance than a legitimate attempt to make his roster better. Then again, if he ends up winning the league because of a couple of extra Matas blocks, conversation over the legality of trades shall get dizzying throughout September.
Succession Comp: Lucas Matsson
Basti can be highly (un)predictable, and recently antisocial (@Basti, are your reading this, if you are, please come back!), often behaving like a troll when he pops up that gopher head from a work hole in a boutique Hammersmith film studio in London. He likes to think of himself as a “hand grenade in a room of grey suits,” acting with impunity because of his vast roster wealth and previous performance success. Accusations that he is arrogant & manipulative are not entirely unfounded. He is certainly intelligent and skilled at reading (NOT scamming) people, using intimidation and psychological games to dominate negotiations. He often creates a “work fast and break things” environment. Just ask Ennio.
Potential X-factors: Whether Shai and Chet play against the Nets on March 18. If yes, and Shai tries to hit some form of a record, then Andrei has a miniscule chance. If not, he’s toast worse than a dicksmelling raclette at a Weihnachtsmarkt.
Prediction: Pelo: Instincts say Basti but Andrei has repeatedly proved he can prosper on life support. God damn vampire that guy. The heart of the champ prevails in an interesting, far however away from a doozy, matchup. Nah, I’m joking. Basti’s juggernaut ass team ain’t going out of the first. 6-3 Basti.
Josh: Andrei narrowly beats Basti indeed. 5-4 Andrei
Seed 3: Michael E. Heisley is a Thief
Now that’s what I’m talking about. A premature final. Scylla vs. Charybdis. Iran vs USA. Quiet, methodical, robotically-drafted against loud, controversial, recently offended hibernating beast.
Sorry, that was the ready text when we all hoped we were getting Ezra vs. Basti in the first. Then Sebas went and poured gasoline and tankjuice all over our wet dreams, and now we have to spend two extra hours of our life re-editing everything. Thanks again Basts.
Playoff Schedule Rating: A
Holiday is back, Reaves is back, Ajay is back, Bam is popping 83. The fraudulent, illegally stolen Grizzlies are ass, and Ezra is ohhh feeling so good. Only thing that could stop his ascent? Our favourite, recently inexplicably desaparecido Bastian with his damn Leviathan waiting in the corner. The Jazz’s tanking lies put an asterisk in Ezra’s title claim, and if there is one person that knows how to benefit from others’ temporary weaknesses- or in the case of Ennio-brainfarts, you know who it is.
Wait, sorry, my bad, he’s getting Louk. Who’s still wondering whether Anfernee Simons should be dropped or not. Who let Barnes go cuz his 2.8 stocks a game were inconsistent. We love you Louk, welcome back to the court. That dump pass to Josh in the post was capital G-orgeous. But your baffling self-mutilation this year will not be promptly forgotten.
Succession Comp: Tom Wambsgans
Ezra is anxious and insecure but desperate to climb the HD ladder and sit upon the regal Hochburg that is the Hoop Dreams Championship. Like Tom he occupies a precarious position: close to power but never fully accepted by the GM family. This tension shapes much of his personality and behavior. I mean I played against him last week and in a parallel I raised the ethical issues of tanking in which he quoted Tom verbatim saying:
‘Jesus, Josh this isn’t fucking Charles Dickens’ world. You don’t go around talking about principles, okay!’
Needless to say you can’t make a Tomlette without breaking a few Greggs. Eggshells beware.
vs.
Seed 6: Peja Vu
Playoff Schedule Rating: C+
Louk’s playoff schedule was bleak as fuck, then he went and made some savvy moves. Save also two very important caveats. He could get 9 games from Book and Jamal in the quarters, and given their respective teams’ playoff fight situations, enjoying the max of that is not out of the question. If he somehow makes it out of that dogfight, things get even tougher with a Book 2-game week. The load management there might just help him deliver a 50-piece, raising his odds for a shocking Finals appearance and upset. Real life Louk is back after knee injections thanks to conspicuous embezzlement at the expense of the Minotaurs. Will his fantasy squad follow suit?
They won’t. He was too proud to try and tank and avoid Ezra. Just as he was too proud to fathom Siakam would not be playing in March when his team was clearly going for a no.1 pick. Pour one out for Louk.
Succession Comp: Gregory (Greg, Greg the Egg) Hirsch
Like Greg, Louk began his GM story as an awkward outsider who unexpectedly entered the powerful and ruthless world of the HD empire. At times socially clumsy Louk just might roll up to your comfortable, politically safe Zalando wine bar party wearing Watermelon socks and Greenpeace wristbands. Although he initially appears naive and bumbling, Louk has gradually revealed a sharp survival instinct. Over time he has mastered maneuvering through the corporate intrigue and power struggles that cloak the world of HD. He’s a calculating survivor, don’t count him out until he’s chartering a boat with Ennio to go game fishing in Mexico.
Potential X-factors: Holiday, Reaves and Mobley all get injured on the same day. Danny Wolf messes around and gets a trip dub. We are looking for hay in a barn Louk.
Prediction: 6-3 Ezra. Louk seems confident for this matchup. We tried hard to dig out exactly why, but to no avail. It will be closer than it seems, though.
Seed 4: Knüpp Doggy Dawg
Playoff Schedule Rating: A
All his best players have potential 4 game QF weeks, which he didn’t even pretend to shut up about throughout the season with his cocky declarations. He’s been benefitting from great health over the past month, and normal distribution often hits hard at the worst moment. Will his overachieving and mid-players go cold? Will any of his studs develop a testicle injury? Will the Shai trade show its ugliest face after an MVP encore performance carries Andrei to the final? All we know is everyone in the league is secretly or openly rooting against him, and as the Avdija injury demonstrated, bad-eye vibes ain’t no joke. The diamond test is scheduled, and at least several GMs have their dicks in their hands and gently stroking themselves off to a Fleet Foxes Album and mumbling something about a cubic zirconia. Watch this Space.
Succession Comp: Kendall Roy
Pelo is ambitious but insecure and deeply believes he should inherit the HD crown. Yet he constantly doubts himself and struggles to match the ruthless confidence of Basti and Andrei. He is driven by the desire for our approval, which he rarely receives. Pelo often tries to project a modern, confident persona—dressing in hipster shirts (have you seen the Sea Sheperd Sweatshirt?), speaking in tech-industry buzzwords, using lobster fucking emojis, and presenting himself as a visionary GM: do you know how many games your team plays per week in March? He did, on draft night. In parallels, people snipe and say his image frequently feels forced or awkward, revealing his insecurity about his millennial identity beneath the surface. Yeah, he Gen-Z fam. His attempts to overthrow Andrei and seize control of the HD crown engine much of the drama in the chat.
vs.
Seed 5: Alekos
Playoff Schedule Rating: B-
Wouldn’t it be nice if we had Jooooookic, then we wouldn’t have to lose so soon? And wouldn’t it be nice if Kawhi stayed healthy, uncharacteristically for once in a season’s blue moon?? Fox and Kawhi (not anymore?) have 4 game weeks but beyond that things are bleak. Keyonte’s injury opens the door to Collier averaging 17 assists for the next few weeks. Only thing is, the Jazz look like they may have invented an injury for him too. The Clippers and Spurs are probably pretty set in their current playoff positions, but Kawhi can’t miss more games if he’s to be eligible for All-NBA. Giannis’ 3 games are not necessarily a bad omen, given how deleterious his free throws are to fantasy teams. This is a sneaky good situation for Alex, also considering he avoided Ezra and Basti till the final round.
Succession Comp: Stewy Hosseini
Alex had a laughable draft night and still managed to become a powerful GM in HD and a major player in corporate acquisitions and takeovers. Look at his trades. He got his board seat and dramatic influence over the league’s future. Alex is relaxed, witty and often appears amused by the chaos around him and rarely seems stressed by high-stakes situations – not. Then again, you will need to flash the IRONY sign at times. Alex embodies the image of a wealthy Wall Street financier—luxurious lifestyle, casual attitude toward money and risk, and a taste for indulgence. A cynical financier who treats GM warfare like a sport—loyal to no one, amused by the Hood Dreams drama and chaos, and always positioning himself to profit from whoever wins. A little Powdered Sugar never hurt anyone. See you in the toilets for a Forrest Bump.
Potential X-factors: Free throws and steals will seemingly be the deciding categories here, and if Giannis recaptures his Game 6 Finals magic, Alex could turn this into a near 50-50 affair. Could Kawhi have 15 steals in a 3 game injury plagued week? Who can bet against the Jokic traitor at this point?
Prediction: Knüppie 5–4. Alekos has demonstrated serious chops of adversity-activated development, but beyond getting absolutely ill Kawhi 3 -and Fox 4-game weeks or Pelo suffering injury misfortunes, the disparity in games played should do the job here.
Round 2
The Battle of the Fortunate
5 v 8 –
The Writers matchup, aka Josh vs Peloski
Both teams leave a lot to be desired. Both teams should probably have to play at least one tougher opponent on their way to the finals. Usurpers or not, our favorite author duo end up in a fight to the death.
Prediction: Knüppie 5-4. After an underwhelming matchup, Pelos makes the finals in his HD debut despite a too-little-too late Sengun masterpiece of a 37-13-11-4-4 line. Josh tries to use the bullshit extra add commish rule inappropriately but gets caught and timely stopped by his associate.
&
The Premature Finals.
3 vs 7
Goliath vs. Liathgo (for Pelo)
Andrei vs. Ezra (for Josh)
Wait, now I can use the text. Iran vs. USA. Scylla vs……
Whatever, you know the drill.
Beyond Jalen Green’s knees and bald Jalen Suggs’ reckless proclivities, Basti’s bid to dethrone Andy appears ironclad. Jokic is finally truly back in impeccable form, at least until his 2-game Final week. Barring an Austin Reaves renaissance and Jrue turning back the clock, not many X-factors appear to be viable stoppers of the inevitable.
Prediction: GTSD 5–4. All his good guys are in scary excellent form. He hasn’t been 70% as healthy as he is now all season long. Ultimately a seemingly popcornian fight turns lopsided, and The Alemanian gets to the medal round without much of a sweat. Or so it seems. Ezra makes a valiant comeback in the last few days and only narrowly loses for 2 steals.
Joshua: Once again, Josh picks Andrei here instead.
Los Finals
Josh took his kids to bed a little later than usual so he didn’t manage to contribute to our latter prediction in pen. But he did give me a brief non-paper, so we are gonna go with that.
Ever since I entered the league, I sensed an ambivalent back and forth between antipathy and sympathy. Contrary to public statements, meeting Basti in real life did not change anything. I already knew he’s a lovely and sound dude who just happens to be a fucking irritant Timo Dickie Chalamet on the whatsapp game. It was destined to be so. The most beautiful beef of Hoop Dreams could only be resolved one way. In a finals where Jokic only plays 2 games and neither team has a decent schedule. The stage is set for Pelo to prove his diamond chops perfectly.
Unfortunately, his guys choke and forget how to ball at the worst moment. A couple of season ending injuries right before the end of the regular season as well. Brutal.
Pelos:
Basti wins the Hoop Dreams Championship 5 to 4.
PS: Go fuck yourself Basti. Just kidding.
Or are we?